Yesterday I found a piece of your heart. I think you lost it in Berlin.
I have it in my pocket now taking it everywhere. It is safe with me.
It was lost and lonely, but I found it!
Actually that’s wrong! It is MY heart! I just wanted to share it with you.
I wanted to share EVERYTHING with you.
Now I will drop it in the lake. Maybe some day some one will come who can see it’s actual worth!
He will surely know where to find it!
I did it!
I feel so relieved.
Again I am full of fear and doubt. But I don’t feel comfortable to talk about it. I was sick and spend most of the day in bed. Half dreaming, half waking. I don’t want to be alone.
I don’t want to live like this.
I am scared. I am upset. I feel very small and irrelevant.
I don’t want to suffer. I don’t want to cry anymore.
I don’t know how to get out of this. I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know why I am writing you…
I am not afraid of your darkness. I am safe in it. I am not afraid of your silence. I am heard in it. I am not afraid of your power. I am protected by it. I am not afraid of your passion. I am carried by it. I am not afraid of your dominance. I am guided by it. I am not afraid of your aggressiveness. I am softened by it.
Fire cannot destroy water!
I think I lost my mind in that dark room. But I feel so much better without it.
If you would never speak a word with me again I would still love you forever, because I love you for who you are and not for what you do.
When you left, the music stopped. Yes, it stopped. Now everything around me is silence.
You were my melody. I heard it all the time. I felt it from inside you.
Wherever I went, whatever I did, your music was with me.
It started when I woke up and was with me all the day. It even followed me into my dreams.
Now you’re gone and I am surrounded by silence. I can’t hear your heartbeat and I can’t feel your breathe.
It’s so quite. All around me is silence.